For most of my life, before I even learned the fundamental principles of writing, I had this romantic desire to be a writer. I don’t know why the craft of writing has been so appealing to me. Maybe it is because I am an independent thinker and work best by myself. Maybe it is because I know that writing is something that I can do and that if I work hard and practice enough, I could write well. Maybe it is because I am self-driven. I don’t know.
I say writing is a romantic desire because, often I think that it is only something that could be imagined or dreamed about. Something that only a few exceptional people could master. Not me. And the way I approach writing is usually whimsical. I may have an idea in my head one moment and the next I’ll be convinced that I’m ought to write a novel about it. Of course, my novels do not go any further than a rough chapter, if even that…because I’m always so overwhelmed about beginning the necessary research. Consider that this blog started during Spring break when I was sitting around the house bored out of my head and decided to watch the movie Julie & Julia, which inspired me so much that I thought, why not start a blog again?
The movie was so inspirational that it called me to action. It taught me that yes, I could be a writer. All I have to do is start writing. It also taught me that if I like writing I am already a writer.
So calling myself a writer is a morale and confidence boost. But is it only temporal? Does it only keep me optimistic for a certain period and leave me feeling like a failure who is wasting time by having these romantic and whimsical notions when the inspiration has faded?
While, there are many benefits I see in blogging, primarily the opportunity it gives me to practice the craft of writing, many times it makes me feel disappointed by showing me how difficult the entire process of writing is. The actually writing process is one thing, which most people can do. However, what happens after something is written? What if no one reads what you write? Could you still consider yourself a writer? Are the words I write just going into the void? If no one reads what I write does this mean that what I have to say doesn’t matter?
I feel this way every time I check my dashboard and see that no one has left me a comment or have “liked” a post that I have written which to me, seemed to be good. Of course my experience with blogging so far has not always been disappointing. I was excited one day when I checked my stats and saw that I had 14 hits on my post titled “Atmosphere of a College Library.” I told my little brother, who must have thought that I was a lunatic for jumping around the living room, that I felt like I had won the lottery. I knew people had read the post because they had referred it to their friends on Facebook and Twitter. That meant a world to me because before then, I had no indication that anyone even visited my blog site.
I thought from that time on, I would have no problem getting hits, however I was wrong. Each day I check my dashboard, checking for comments, so far the only comment I have gotten is the one posted by me. I crave conversation with other bloggers. I crave validity that my work is in some way decent and that I am just not wasting my words into the “cyber void.” However, like Julie in the movie, I wont give up. I’ll continue writing. Although it seems like an overly ambitious goal, maybe someday I’ll be Freshly Pressed. But if that doesn’t happen, even simply receiving a comment from someone, anyone…will mean the world to me.